Mother Nature Is A Slut
|When I moved to Iowa from Seattle, I remember thinking after a time... jeez, what is this place, Acapulco? Thing is, I grew up in Seattle and so I thought the natural color of the weather was: gray.
|It doesn't rain as much in Seattle as people think, but it's gray, gray, gray all the time. When the sun comes out, it's like the Second Coming. A sunny day in Seattle is glorious because it is so rare.
|So when I moved to Iowa where the sun comes out on a fairly regular basis, probably about average, I dunno, it felt to me -- The Seattle Boy -- like I was living in some tropical resort. I loved it.
|And then when I moved to New York, same thing. I still had the gray thing in my blood despite three years in Iowa, and so, again, New York felt to me like the Sunshine Belt.
|In the years since I've apparently gotten used to seeing the sun on a regular basis. I fear I may have even started to depend on it.
|This past weekend was miserable here. Dark, gray, wet, hot. It's like living under a wet wool blanket when it gets like this. So today is Monday, I get up: gray and dark again.
|Okay, fine. The weather has the right to be dark and gray, even in June, if it feels the need. We all have our low points.
|But this is New York, practically Acapulco (by my lights) so this gray is going to end pretty soon, right? Another day or two and the sun will be back, right?
|From the National Weather Service, here is a clipped version of the "Detailed 7-day Forecast":
|Today...Mostly cloudy with scattered showers...And possibly an afternoon thunderstorm.
|Tuesday...Mostly cloudy in the morning...Then becoming partly cloudy. A 20 percent chance of showers.
|Wednesday...Showers likely with a slight chance of thunderstorms.
|Thursday...Mostly cloudy. A chance of showers and thunderstorms in the afternoon.
|Friday...Mostly cloudy with a chance of showers. A chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon.
|Saturday...Mostly cloudy. A chance of showers in the morning...Then a chance of showers and thunderstorms in the afternoon.
|Sunday...Mostly cloudy. A chance of showers in the morning...Then a chance of showers and thunderstorms in the afternoon.
And so, therefore, here is the summary 7-day forecast for The Corpuscle:
Grumpy, with sparsely scattered jokes. Chance of scowls in the afternoons and evenings. Partial clearing in the morning after a cup of coffee, followed mostly by heavy spleen.
So, you know, like your momma told you, dress for the weather.