Random Notes On Christian Sex
(I'm probably going to regret this post. I already get so many Google hits on sexual subjects that my logs nearly, um, choke on them.)
So I'm hurrying home and I pass one of the NYU dorms and there's this college guy hanging out in front with this young woman about half his size. He's got kind of a beer gut with a T-shirt stretched over it that reads: "Sex, Drugs, and Christian Rock".
I wanted to stop and ask him exactly what sort of sex was included in his exhortation. I mean, are we just talking hetero, here? And only within the bounds of marriage? If so, how do drugs fit into the picture? But... I was in a hurry.
Fearing unhipness, later on I did a Google search on this guy's T-shirt and found a few hits. Not so many. I decided I could rest easy on the hipness front. This wasn't anything of WWJD proportions.
However, over in the paid ads I noticed two sponsored links:
Christianity & Sex
How I Give My Wife Intense,
Multiple Orgasms. Christian Guide.
Please God and Your Wife
Learn Sexual Skills
For the Christian Husband
Okay, cool, but the thing is about those two sites (both by the same guy), it costs you $37 to get his e-book on how to, among other things, "maintain your erections indefinitely", become "a multi-orgasmic male", discover the secrets of the "male G-spot" (I could tell you that one for a dime), find your wife's "deepest sexual needs", and so forth and so on. Though he says if you aren't completely satisfied, he'll give you your $37 back.
The author assures us "Sex was God’s idea. He created it and encourages us to participate in it, frequently, enthusiastically and without shame."
But, apparently, not without somebody (the author, in this case) making some fast money off it.
I dunno. None of my business, really. I'm not a Christian. I'm unmarried, and I'm certainly not interested in hearing what this guy has to say about my male G-spot.
Still, insofar as I understand Christianity, it seems a bit un-Christian of this guy to be charging money for his secrets of sexual (within the bounds of Christian marriage) success.
I mean, WWJD?
Seems to me he'd tell you all about your male G-spot, if you wanted to know about it. Insofar as I understand his philosophy, anyway. He threw the money-changers out of the temple, didn't he? It doesn't seem such a stretch to imagine he'd fill you in on your male G-spot, no charge. If you were interested, I mean.
And I'll bet your average priest knows all about the male G-spot. What's the big secret? Is this like keeping the Bible all in Latin or something? So only the priests can read it?
Well, anyway. Like I said, it's none of my business. But if you want to know where your male G-spot is, just shoot me an email. Hell, I'll tell you for free. Save your dime for your local homeless person.
I'll warn you in advance, though. If you're one of these Average American Male type guys, you're probably not going to like the answer.