Corpuscular School of Journalism
Here's why bloggers are better journalists than journalists: Blogging is a crappy job. You don't get any money. There aren't any benefits. Only a few get invited on T.V. and once those few have been on T.V. three or four times, mark my words, they won't be any better than "real" journalists.
Bloggers do it even though it's a crappy job. It should always be a crappy job.
I think there should be a maximum wage for journalists. If I owned a major metropolitan newspaper, especially one in a conservative town, I'd find out the absolute minimum a person would need to put a roof over his/her head in that town, and the least they would need to put food on the table, and, maybe, depending on the numbers, some clothes on their back. Then I'd subtract like, oh, I dunno, five bucks, just to make life that much harder. I certainly wouldn't offer any benefits. What're you, nuts? And to top it all off, I'd be mean to my reporters all day long. Oh, and they'd have to take public transportation.
See, what you want is a bunch of people truly pissed off at the world. If your people are pissed off at the world, then they will write like they're pissed off at the world. Which, when you think about it, being pissed off I mean, is the only moral place for a journalist to be.
The problem is all the hacks we have in the media just aren't pissed off at things anymore. Even John Stossel with all his "I'm mad as hell" shtick is a self-satisfied fat-cat phony. The only thing worse than not being pissed off is pretending to be pissed off. What do you think we are, Stossel, stupid? You're as transparent as a pair of whore's underpants.
Take Jimmy Breslin, for instance. He's always pissed off. I'm surprised the man has lasted as long as he has, him being so pissed off at everybody all the time. No wonder he got that stupid growth in his brain. It was, take my word for it, a consequence of him being so pissed off all the time. Being pissed off marks you. It's like the world lifts its leg and pees all over your heart. No wonder you should get a growth.
We like Jimmy Breslin. He's pissed off and he writes like he's pissed off and that's why we like him. Hell, I'd even pay him the extra money. Whatever he wanted. Anybody that naturally gifted at being pissed off deserves every dime he can get. Journalists should get paid by the bile-ounce. Only it has to be real bile, not fraudulent secretions like you get from some of these over-monied right-wing guys.
What do you want a bunch of rich and snappy-happy guys doing your journalism for? Get outta here. What you want is your ink-stained wretch. Preferably stinking of gin, hopefully divorced, and so butt-ugly even his poor, gray-haired mother won't be seen with him. The last thing you want is some snoot in a Brooks Brothers suit referring to himself as an "ink-stained wretch, heh-heh-heh". In fact, that's another rule I'd have in my newsroom: anybody who refers to himself as an "ink-stained wretch, heh-heh-heh" gets the bum's rush. And how.
And I'll tell you what else. Any of my guys shows up on T.V. owes me money. That is, if he wants to keep his crappy job.