Yo' Mama's My Customer
The radio tells me that there are delays on the A Line this morning because of an injured customer at Hoyt. Yesterday, also on the radio, the head of Pataki's deadbeat dad collection agency advised that customers should come in and make arrangements to make good on what they owe.
Thank you, blog customer, for stopping by to read my blog.
Have you noticed this? You're not a rider on the MTA anymore. You aren't somebody who owes money to the government anymore.
You are a customer.
Well, at least this clears up the haze. To your eternal gratitude, I'm sure, your rights and responsibilities are being more precisely defined. You are to produce, and then you are to consume. Clear away all this other junk. It's not relevant.
I pledge brand loyalty
to the flag
of the United States of America...
This, I suppose, is intended to make us feel empowered or something. Hey! It's the Invisible Hand of the Free Market! Vote with your money!
In the Olde Days, we used to vote with our votes. That's so 20th Century, I guess.
And unless I'm misremembering, we didn't used to contact Customer Relations if somebody got run over by a subway train. We used to call "the police".
Your life is somebody else's business plan. You're not a citizen. You're a window-shopper.
Well, you better stop reading this and get ready for work. If you're late, your boss customer will want his money back.