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Yo' Mama's My Customer

The radio tells me that there are delays on the A Line this morning because of an injured customer at Hoyt. Yesterday, also on the radio, the head of Pataki's deadbeat dad collection agency advised that customers should come in and make arrangements to make good on what they owe.

Thank you, blog customer, for stopping by to read my blog.

Have you noticed this? You're not a rider on the MTA anymore. You aren't somebody who owes money to the government anymore.

You are a customer.

Well, at least this clears up the haze. To your eternal gratitude, I'm sure, your rights and responsibilities are being more precisely defined. You are to produce, and then you are to consume. Clear away all this other junk. It's not relevant.

I pledge brand loyalty
to the flag
of the United States of America...

This, I suppose, is intended to make us feel empowered or something. Hey! It's the Invisible Hand of the Free Market! Vote with your money!

In the Olde Days, we used to vote with our votes. That's so 20th Century, I guess.

And unless I'm misremembering, we didn't used to contact Customer Relations if somebody got run over by a subway train. We used to call "the police".

Your life is somebody else's business plan.  You're not a citizen. You're a window-shopper.

Well, you better stop reading this and get ready for work. If you're late, your boss customer will want his money back.


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I remember listening to the Diane Rehm show about five or six years ago, and the panel was discussing advertising and corporate sponsorship in high schools. One of the guests on the show used the phrase "future consumers", and nobody made a peep about it.

So it seems that almost everyone has conceded the terms of the debate. And that seems to be the most insidious part of it all: the wholesale dismissal of the very concept of citizenship.

Somehow I suspect a lot of the market-worshipping libertarians have not really followed some of their clever ideas all the way through...

And that seems to be the most insidious part of it all: the wholesale dismissal of the very concept of citizenship.

No lie. That's it.

See, the business of America is business. Don't bother puzzling over your rights and responsibilities as a citizen anymore, just check your "Updated Cardholder's Agreement" that came in the mail today.

Government, bad. Business, good. If you didn't see that "NOW" broadcast a couple of weeks ago, check this out.

When residents of St. Thomas Township, Pennsylvania opposed a company’s plans to build a quarry in their small town, they did a uniquely American thing: they elected a town supervisor who shared their view. The ensuing battle, like many around the nation that are pitting communities against corporations, raises a question at the heart of American democracy: can corporate rights trump the will of the people? NOW goes inside the controversy in St. Thomas Township by looking at how Frank Stearn, the newly elected official, steered clear of issues relating to the quarry and examines the legal status claimed by the corporation that stopped him in his tracks. “I mean, clearly, it does not speak well to most people's understanding of how democracy works,” says Stearn.

You know... I can never quite figure out if it's a matter of them thinking we're this stupid, or if it's a matter of us really being this stupid.

I guess in the end it doesn't make much difference; the product is pretty much the same. It's just a question of whether you want it delivered via UPS or the Postal Service.

Customers and consumers, your call is important to us.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What does government have to do with business?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the head of the family and I am primarily responsible for bringing money into our home, so call me The Corporation.

Your mother is the administrator of the money and decides how much of it I get to keep, so we call her the government.

We're required to work together to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.

The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said to him.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father. "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now."

The little boy continues, "The Corporation is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

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