I Feel So Dirty
Not two days after I complain about American Democracy being an Electric Football game, I get a phone call. The guy on the other end says he's from Gallup.
The first thing you should know about me is that I never take polls. I don't explain when they call. I just say, "Sorry, I don't do polls" and then I hang up. I haven't taken a poll in years, on any subject.
What can I say? The guy had a cute voice. (Note to Telemarketers: only hire people with cute voices.) But more than that... well, maybe not more than that, but close... I'd just heard about a poll this morning on Bush and the Republicans and it was sweet. Finally, the American public is getting a clue about these bastards.
So, I thought... maybe I could get a little of this action? What if they ask me what I think about the things that matter to me? What if answering the guy with the cute voice's questions makes me feel, you know, involved or something? Maybe even important? But most of all, what if I could add my little opinion turdlet to the steaming pile of crap that's burying these people? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
As always, I played hard to get.
"How long will this take?"
Eight minutes, he told me.
Heh. Eight minutes. Where have I heard that one before? "Please? C'mon... It'll only take eight minutes, I promise." Yeah, right.
So, anyway, call me a slut if you want. I don't care. And anyway, a line delivered in a cute voice is a hell of a lot different than a line delivered in just your regular, run-of-the-mill voice. It's not the same thing at all. If you think it is, then you don't know nothing.
And no, you don't need to know the details. All you need to know is that... it was good. It was very, very good. Well, at least it was for me. He seemed to enjoy himself, but I guess you'd have to ask him about that. Not for me to say.
My favorite part was when he read me the list of "public figures" and asked whether my opinion of them was favorable or unfavorable. It was sweet. So, so sweet. He knew just the right names to read... yum... in that yummy voice of his...
Of course it took longer than eight minutes, but then I knew it would. Heh. I wasn't complaining. He even told me he might call back later, to ask me "follow-up" questions.
I pretended indifference.
He loves it when I play the coquet.